Dear Diary..
von
Julie
1
31.01.2007
Hello my dear diary!
Today I first thought that it would be an ordinary day. But I was wrong…
Of course, school was as usual, my marks are as worse as always and my parents are as disappointed as usual.
After school I met my friends, as usual. We went to the old bridge over the river and looked upon the water. But than Ethan took out a little plastic bag with something dark and small in it. It was a mushroom!
I was so excited…first I don´t wanted to taste it but Ethan and Jonathan said that it isn´t dangerous and that it makes fun.
So I decided to try it..
I took the mushroom, put it in my mouth and chewed it. It tasted very strange, but I acted like I´d enjoyed it.
The feeling I got when I absorbed it…well…I´m not able to describe it in one word..
First nothing happened but then everything we said and did became much more interesting and funny and I felt so happy.
I haven´t felt so happy for years!
Next week we will take mushrooms again, so I don´t have to worry about my marks and my parents reaction about it.
I´m not addicted to it and I´m not going to be..
I have to go to bed now, it´s late.
Adam
4.4.2007
I need more money, I can´t pay for my stuff any longer…But I need it.
I can´t stop taking it..I became what I never wanted to be..I am a junkie!
The only reason to live are my drugs and my friends.
My parents don´t care about me..there is only one person in my life, who is worried about me. Her name is Lucy and she took drugs, too. But she stopped it and now she is clean. She always told me not to take mushrooms, but she can´t stop me!
I don´t go to school, two weeks ago I ran away from home and now I live at the train station or under a bridge.
The street is my home now. Why should I go to school or live with my family?
They don´t care about me and I don´t need more education. I´m able to read a book and I can write in my diary…
I might live longer but I´m not sure if I will live long enough to celebrate my 18th birthday.
There are no conditions to celebrate it..I´m only 16 now but I feel much older.
Maybe Lucy is able to help me, but she can´t take me away from my lovely mushrooms.
They help me to survive day after day and I´m thankful for not feeling the coldness or my sadness so intensive as I would feel it without drugs.
Good night,
Adam
13.4.2007
Oh my god, I can´t believe it!
It was on the birthday party from Danielle, a friend of ours.
I was drunken, (well, I´m often drunken the last times..) and I can´t remember it, but my friends told me that I´ve cried and then there was Lucy.
She consoled me and admitted that she felt more for me than just friendship.
After she said this she began to cry, too , and then we kissed.
It was so wonderful, I was hot and cold the same time.
When we have finished she lay in my arms for a long long times.
She just lay there, we haven´t talked, we haven´t said a word. We only enjoyed being with each other and after a while she turned around and said: “you have to stop taking drugs. It destroys you and it destroys me, too”
I laughed when she said this. “I don´t want to stop it”, I explained. “I need mushrooms, heroine and alcohol to feel myself on a better way. I wouldn´t be able to survive one day without drinking or taking something to make me happy. How could I be able to live on the street without making everything bearable for me? If you really love me you have to accept it!”
I expected an answer but there wasn´t one. She only looked in my eyes and fondled my cheek. “one day you will die because of all this. This life isn´t the right one for you. But how can a 16-year-old boy change his whole life?”
Then she cuddled her head in my sweatshirt and I put my arms around her.
I wanted to hold her, to make her feel safety and secured. She tried to help me but she is such a faintly and breakable person. She wants to take care for me, but I have to protect her either.
Sleep well,
Adam
2.6.2007
I´m a wreck!
Last night I was admitted into hospital with an overdose of..I even don´t no what I took anylonger..Anyway I took some harder drugs as usual and I was very, very drunken.
Right now I lie in the hospital and I feel horrible.
Though I enjoy to have an own bedding and something to eat I am very scared of my future now.
I did so many bad things. Things I never thought I could do some years ago but now I´m here in a hospital, my craw is exhausted and my heart is broken.
Lucy haven´t left me but I have left here.
We´re still a couple but I have hurt her a lot. She stands by me, always and I´m going do destroy myself without observancing that I´m not only destroying myself I also destroy her.
She really loves me although I hurt her so much.
But that´s not all..
Whether I hurt her only mentaly everything would be only half as bad but I really hurt her physically. Last night we disagreed about something unimportant but I was drunken and I wasn´t able to control my feelings and my hand slipped.
Haha! Of course my hand doesn´t slip.. I striked out and hit her directly in her face. I really knocked her down and the only thing she said was: “Why do you let those drugs destroy you on this way?”
Instead of saying sorry or helping her getting up I swooned and woke up as I lay in a bed and she sat on a chair beside me.
Curious, she really seem to love me.
All the best,
Adam
8.6.2007
I´m out of hospital since two days and I´m tired of beeing me.
Although the doctor told me to make a rehab I´m still sitting below the bridge, in one hand a beer in the other an injenction.
This world isn´t the right for me. Of course my friends are always helping me but I can´t always cadge and live by other people´s earnings…
I don´t have a place to go for and instead of Lucy there is noone who is really able to do something to help me and I don´t want to bedevil her furthermore.
Maybe a suicide isn´t the only way out but for me it seems like the only perspective that I´ve got.
Maybe I need to get out of this city, Lucy proposed to go to the sea.
Always I wanted to see the sea. This is the only thing I still need to do before die.
Three weeks later he was at the sea with Lucy. The two tramped through the complete country. Adam suggested that he wantet to make a rehab at the coast and Lucy accompanied him in the hope to help him with his deprivation.
They sleeped under bridges and in public places.
The day after Adam saw the sea Lucy found his corpse at the beach.
The day before he died he really wanted to make a detox but the last dose he took was too heavy and his body wasn´t able to survive it.
P.S:
Ich weiß, dass das Engflisch noch nciht soo ausgereift ist.
Der Text war eine Hausaufgabe und ich habe mir seeehr viel Mühe gegeben :D
1
Kommentare
nathalie schrieb am 2008-09-01 11:06:56:
sehr traurige storie..jedoch auch sehr gut geschrieben, sicher sind fehler drin, aber daran lässt sich arbeiten. ich glaub ich hätte niemals so viel fantasie so etwas zu schreiben, deswegen..respekt!
Mimiko. schrieb am 2008-08-23 18:24:34:
Also ich find die Geschichte übels traurig o.O
ich dachte echt, dass der das vielleicht doch noch mit dem Entzug schafft / macht.
Carpediem schrieb am 2008-05-06 18:23:11:
very depressiv but gut...
Julie schrieb am 2008-02-29 23:14:08:
Danke :)
Jaa insgesamt sinds 44 Fehler xD
Aber gut, daran lässt sich arbeiten..
Ich freu mich über euer Feedback :D
Nathalie schrieb am 2008-02-29 16:08:08:
Ich finds sehr gut.
Wirklich wirklich gut...zwar sind einige fehler drin...:) aber daran lässt sich arbeiten
Noxn schrieb am 2008-02-21 11:00:20:
Einfach nur gute arbeit.
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