Disease
von
Leath Dife
1
DISEASE
Well there I am
but who am I??
What the hell am I here for??
My way is not in my hands
and the voice just tells me what I'm not
It's just that it was me and noone else bringing me here
I can't deny and blame anyone else
but probably I do
I feel like an annoying stain on life's sweater
and I try to erase myself
Life does what it wants
Is that true?
Cause I had the chance and I decided for this and now
It was just my stupid decision
The illusion in which I used to escape became bigger than my reality
but I like it
cause my illusion is full of music and every lovely tune touching my soul
helps me to stand the things I don't wanna face
the things that almost kill me
the person who almost kills me
In the place where I feel so uncomfortable
music makes it bareable to me
cause I can fly away with this heavenly melody
and music became my home somehow
It makes my illusion movin, the clouds beginn to fly
I can invent all the things which I want to be
I can be close to the one I'm thinking of
and talk to the guys that are invisible but never dead
I know it won't ever happen in reality
Well I know things won't come my way in reality
I hate me again for sounding this way
cause I don't deserve
Don't deserve anything
Especially no love
but it seems to became the thing I'm looking for most
I'm too unclean fot it
too bad
too mean
too unworthy
I'm afraid I'd just use someone's love
and not to be able to love too
or to got love at all
You think you know me?
No, you don't
I'm good at hiding and showing all my bad traits
so don't trust me
don't ever give your heart to me if you ever feel like it
I'm afraid I'd just use it like a tissue that I dirt and throw away afterwards
Just believe me that I'm a monster
A greedy devouring monster
that hates when she likes herself
and loves when she hates herself!
My disease is myself...
1
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